Recently, a friend of mine randomly said this.

he says:
u so high sia..
_ning`- ______infinity]- says:
?
_ning`- ______infinity]- says:
high?
he says:
so many events
_ning`- ______infinity]- says:
lol
_ning`- ______infinity]- says:
like that i wont bored mah
_ning`- ______infinity]- says:
make full use of my time
_ning`- ______infinity]- says:
better den slacking at hme do nth right?
_ning`- ______infinity]- says:
lol
he says:
rest rest also can ah..
he says:
haha..
he says:
go get a bf la..
he says:
hehheh

verdict: As if all e potential bf material guys drop from the sky everyday. hahahahahh. i'll take my time :)

oh ya, i chanced upon this article today on O, The Oprah Magazine, which i truly felt that it's very reality. sharing it with all of you.


"Can't We Be Friends?"
By Michael Vincent Miller, PhD

Breaking up is hard to do, but trying to go from romantic to platonic—
which sounds like a sweet idea—only adds to the pain.

A young man I know, still in love with his girlfriend, tried to go along with her plea to remain friends after she told him that she wanted the freedom to see other men.
A couple of months later, she invited him to her birthday party.
In the course of the evening, while searching for a bathroom, he saw her through an open bedroom door passionately kissing another man.
Feeling deeply hurt and angry, he later confronted her, whereupon she retorted, "But we said we'd be friends."
The girlfriend's response seems lacking in empathy and concern—traits we usually associate with friendship—but one wonders whether the young man wasn't setting himself up for a fall in the first place.

Can't we be friends? It's an old refrain, ready-made for the one who wants out of a relationship to deliver to the one who doesn't.
Frank Sinatra gave it a permanent place in popular culture with the song "Can't We Be Friends?" (This is how the story ends / She's gonna turn me down and say / Can't we be just friends?) Sinatra, who never backed away from melancholy (at least in his music), understood a thing or two about mourning.

And mourning is the theme that matters here. Trying to be friends immediately following a breakup tends to prevent the rejected partner (and maybe both partners) from mourning the death of romantic love—from accepting its finality by suffering it all the way through.
As painful as this can be, it ultimately performs an essential function.

Behind the tears, mourning has silent work to do: It binds up the torn places where love was and gives them a chance to heal.
This is crucial, because falling in love carries us beyond our customary limits of self-expression into territory that puts our sense of self at risk.

Two people in love place much of themselves in each other's hands for safekeeping; that kind of interdependence is why the loss of an intimate partner entails the depressing experience of being left behind with a diminished sense of your own existence.
Grieving the end of a relationship is a gradual process of extracting the "I" from a vanishing "we."
It provides a way—the only way—to retrieve what you invested in a lover or spouse who has departed.
Mourning is like casting a line into dark waters and trying to reel in those parts of yourself that you surrendered to the relationship, before they, too, disappear.
Although friendship just after the split may offer temporary relief, it blocks the slow but necessary passage from loss to restoration of independence.

A number of years ago, I saw a patient who felt that her sex life was essentially over because she had suddenly been left by the man with whom she had experienced her first grand erotic passion.
She did everything she could to win him back—calling, sending gifts, even promising to change anything about herself that wasn't satisfying to him—all to no avail.
It took extensive work (and many tears) before she was able to see that the unparalleled sexiness she attributed to him was in fact the power of her own sexual desire.
At this point, his image began to lose its magnetism for her. What her experience suggests is that if you give in to mourning, unsettling though it may be, it will eventually finish its work.
Only then do you again become free to fully inhabit your present life and turn from a sorrowing fixation on the past to the exciting unknown of the future.

All human development entails suffering losses that need to be grieved.
At every stage of life, we are propelled beyond familiarity and security into a new situation: A baby's first steps mean that she will soon leave behind the comforting security of being carried.

A young adult going off to college feels the thrill of freedom but has to contend with homesickness. For all the important gains, there are also losses that bring up anxiety and sadness. Grief might be thought of as the growing pain of human development.

A child's love is really no different from dependence, and that equation haunts us to some degree all our lives. The residues of early dependence in all our intimacies play a large part in making the loss of love so hard to bear. Yet we all go through such loss, leaving behind a trail of casualties—outdated selves, broken promises, lovers we realize we chose for the wrong reasons.

Mourning these helps change what can seem like failures into wisdom. In learning how to grieve our losses, it doesn't help that American culture, with its emphasis on romantic love and happy endings, isn't very hospitable to mourning.
But when we enter into the deeper and more difficult stretches of loving, Hollywood can't shield us from the truth: All love stories come to an end, even those that last a lifetime. When loss hits us hard, it can be difficult to know what to do with it, or even how to bear it.

Many people in grief turn to antidepressants, which may reduce the pain but don't necessarily provide much by way of self-discovery.

Mourning teaches us how to accept the end of love and helps us start the process of feeling whole again.
True, the self you get back is never quite the same as the self you relinquished to your relationship; although wounds can heal, they leave scar tissue.

But there's more to gain than just surviving the breakup; there's also the possibility of becoming more than you were, more able to undertake the experience of love in its moments of sadness as well as joy. As with any art or skill, the only way grieving can be learned is through practice—whether we like it or not.

Michael Vincent Miller, PhD, is the author of Intimate Terrorism (Norton).

Labels: Articles, BGR

I met up with my mum and dad today at Tampines 1.
Yep, they have finally came back to Singapore after 1year plus.
I had a veh nice and fruitful dinner with them :)

Tampines 1 was ok. didn't really explored the whole shopping mall because I didn't have the time to.
and YES!
I GOTTEN MY E71 FINALLY :)


this is a replacement for the pityful E66 that dropped into the jug of drink. lol.
and I'm SO SO SO IN LOVE with my hp hehehe.

Damn tired.
Mum is playing MJ tonight over at tampines.
Dad wanted me to stay overnight there, but I didn't bring any extra clothes and if I were to stay over at Tampines, I gotta be awake at 6.30 if not I'll be late for work! :(
In the end, I cab back home.

How I wish I own a car now. but i haven even gotten my license! hahahahs.
hopefully i'll pass my TP this 10th July 2009.

*p/s: I gave Mum a Flower. a simple flower with a smiley face.
Well, at least she'll smile when she sees my flower and my flower wont die ! :)

Labels: Handphone

I chanced upon this story from the net and i decided to post this to share with everyone. I believed some of you might have read it before but it's just sounded so meaningful to me. Perhaps maybe you can read it again, to remind yourself the message in it.

My husband was an engineer. Since I met him, he was always an unflappable rock in my life. I knew he always had his feet firmly planted on the ground, and it seemed that no matter what else went crazy, he would be the one constant.

Three years of romance, and two years of marriage later, I got tired. He was the most unromantic man I know. He never bought me flowers, he never surprised me, and nothing changed in our marriage.

After some time, I finally found the courage to tell him that I wanted to leave him. He just sat there, speechless. My heart froze... what kind of man was I married to that didn't even know what to say to make me stay?

After a while, he spoke, "What can I do to change your mind?". "I will stay if you can give me a good answer to this question," I replied coldly. "If I asked for a flower that grew on a cliff, and you knew that getting it for me means certain death, would you get it for me?".
His face grew troubled. "Can I give you an answer tomorrow morning?" he asked. Hearing that kind of answer, my heart died. I knew that I could never be happy with a man who couldn't even give me a answer straight away.

The next morning, when I woke up, he was missing. In the living room, under a warm glass of milk, was a note. My eyes grew misty as I read it...

"Dear, I have my answer. I will never pick the flower for you if it meant certain death. But before you leave, I hope you can give me a chance to give you my reasons....

You will always sit in front of the computer and type about for the whole day, but every time you will end up in tears cause your formating will always go all over the place... I need my fingers, to do the formating for you, so your tears will become smiles.

You like to travel, but would always get lost...
I need my eyes, so that I can bring you to the nicest places on earth.

Every time you leave the house, you would always forget your keys... I need my legs, so that I can run home to open the door for you.You never knew how to take care of yourself...

I need my hands to help you get rid of the pesky white hair you hate so much when you grow old, to trim your nails, to feed you.

So you see, that's why I can't pick the flower for you.Until I find someone who loves you more than I do, I will need my body to take care of you.

If you accept my reasons, then open the door, where I will be waiting with your favourite kayabread." With tears streaming from my eyes, I opened the door, and there he stood, with a extremely worried look on his face.

He still had nothing to say, but just stood there waving the packet he had in his hand in front of me.

And then I knew for a fact that I will never find another man who will ever love me as much as he does.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have...

isn't it meaningful?

:)

*p/s: Hey dears, thanks for the messages and all.
I was just feeling a lil bit frustrated that day. i'm fine now hehe :) no worries okie!

Labels: Articles, BGR

I'm so busy with school and driving now.
gotta finish up an assignment that needs to submitted on 19th.
the dateline was supposed to be today, but the lecturer shifted the date back till 19th.
but it does no help when i'm only 10% done.
:(

Labels: School Work

update a lil bit for May.
met vic on 2nd May for ramen at Far East.

Labels: Birthday, Clubbing, Family